Nine Years
by cutiepiehunter
Summary: The nine years that they spent apart. I can't quite understand why RT would ever keep Logan and Veronica apart for so long. I just needed something at least in my head to make sense of the fall out.
1. Chapter 1- Him

Year One

It wasn't so much that she had left, as it was that she had done so without telling him. She didn't owe him anything; that much he knew and she made clear when he had roughed up Iwannabeyourtrueloveboyscout Piz. Still, it hurt that Veronica thought so little of their relationship or whatever it was that remained between them.

" 'Ronica? You're gonna have to pick up sometime. You can't hide forever," he whispered into his cell phone and hit the end button. That was message number 172 (by his count) that he had left this summer and thus far there had been nothing but deafening silence. It didn't take him long to hire Vinnie because well, because there were only two PIs that he knew of. Keith would be of little to no help leaving him with option number two- Vinnie. Vinnie Van Lowe.

Vinnie took about a couple minutes (or so it seemed) to report back that the petite blonde troublemaker was up at Stanford with a "hunkalicious piece of Brad Pitt look alike," settling into a normal life and Logan was left with quick relief at the thought that Veronica wasn't actively hiding. Of course the respite lasted for all of two minutes before blinding rage and self-loathing took over and once more he found himself passed out in the Neptune Grand penthouse sans his pants.

Year Two

Vinnie continued to take snapshots of Veronica going to class. Veronica kissing another Piz lookalike, Veronica laughing by the fountain, Veronica drinking coffee- the pictures were endless. Sometimes if he truly hated himself, he let himself down an entire bottle of scotch before daydreaming of their adventures together. He figured between his lucid dreams and the surveillance photographs he had enough wank material to last him centuries. But then again he never allowed himself to touch her even in his fantasies.

It always ended in tears.

"You know what Ronnie? I hate you. I fucking hate you. I hope you're having fun in your fucked up normal life, and I hope I never have to fucking see you again."

That was message 1072 if he had to be honest with himself. Every single moment seemed to remind him of Veronica or his life with Veronica, and every single time he called her, he left a message. He in fact considered it a success if he went an entire day without calling her. Still, Vinnie had attested to the fact that the number remained the same, and considering that her mailbox never rejected any of his messages, he could only assume that she was either listening to his messages or deleting them. Either way, it cheered him tremendously to know that he was still a part of her life.

Year Three

"Happy Thanksgiving Ronnie!"

Logan had taken to leaving calmer messages, even if he still called her Ronnie. And he only called her Ronnie when he hated her. Truth be told, he was doing pretty well now that he had hightailed it out of Neptune. He didn't think he would be missed, and he wasn't save for Dick, who readily agreed to fly out to him whenever possible.

He registered as one Mr. Dick Smith because well the Dick jokes were endless, and Smith was a hard trace. He barely called Veronica any more, and when he did, he left soft and impersonal messages. Happy Thanksgiving. Merry Christmas. Happy Birthday.

Never I love you. I miss you. I miss you so fucking badly that it feels like someone tore my heart out.

Nope. He was doing well.

Year Four.

He had gone a whole year without calling Veronica. He was pretty goddamn proud of the fact that he as Dick Smith was an A student in a monogamous relationship with one very lovely Stacy McCormack. Stacy reminded him of Hannah- she's all soft smiles and innocence unless they're in a tickling contest and she doesn't have unrealistic expectations of him. He doesn't flirt with other girls since it brings a sad look to her face, and she doesn't ask him questions about his past. In fact, when he shut off the TV while it was a playing a repeat of the Tinseltown Diaries, she had readily turned to him with kisses and hugs.

Yep, it was best that Stacy didn't know and it was best that he didn't call Veronica.

Year Five.

They say that the first year is the hardest when you lose someone, but truthfully it's the fifth. You wake up one day and double over in pain when you all of a sudden realize that it's been five fucking years since you've heard or seen the love of your life. Logan who normally would have chewed off his hand rather than grovel found himself calling Veronica in the early hours of the morning. "Hey," he said softly into the phone not wanting to wake Stacy. "It's me. I just wanted to say…"

Stacy seemed to wake up, her eyes full of concern and Logan smiled wanly. "Nothing. Forget it. Good night." He cuddled into her, hiding his eyes that threatened to spill with tears. He wondered if there was an AA equivalent of getting over your ex.

"What happened?" She asked, her voice gravelly from sleep.

And he couldn't stop the tears anymore.

Year Six.

He's back to being Logan Echolls. Not because he was outed and definitely not because Dick Smith wasn't the best pseudonym ever but because Stacy asked. He told her everything starting from Lilly half expecting her to spit on his face. But she had hugged him tight and told him she loved him. Suddenly life didn't seem so hard anymore. Veronica wasn't the only woman for him, and somehow it seemed that the universe was giving him a second chance.

Still when the sight of a petite blonde head causes backflips in his stomach, Logan knows it's going to be an issue. So he calls her half hoping that she picks up and half hoping that she doesn't.

'Hey Ronnie! I just wanted to let you know that I'm all right. I met this girl, and I'm uh… I'm about to propose, so if you …I don't know. I guess if you ever wanted to reach out to me, now would be a good time."

She never called back.

Year Seven

Life is good because he hardly thinks of Veronica anymore. Instead he spends his time cuddling puppies, writing bitingly honest reviews of movies, gardening (yes there's nothing more masculine than getting your hands dirty), and making love to his beautiful fiancée. Stacy was the perfect addition to his life. She had cried tears of joy when he proposed and the three carat solitaire glinted in her finger as she poured him a tall glass of pink lemonade.

Logan pressed an open mouthed kiss to her neck to thank her for the refreshment and couldn't quite believe how normal his life was turning out to be. He was pretty sure that he was escaping the Echolls curse.

But of course the curse was far stronger than he had ever imagined for within a few days of his newly discovered domestic bliss came news of Keith Mars' heart attack.

He called Veronica 22 times that night, worried sick as to what this would do to her. He almost hopped on the next flight out when Vinnie called to say it was a false alarm. He barely registered what was going on when Stacy came up to him with those sad eyes and packed bags.

She knew. And this time she didn't want to stay either.

Year Eight.

He was back at Neptune having learned yet another valuable life lesson(s). Don't keep tabs on your ex-girlfriend and her dad unless you want your carefully constructed life to self-destruct itself in approximately four hours. And always relieve Vinnie Van Lowe of his duties because there was nothing Vinnie liked more than being on the Echolls payroll.

He wished he missed Stacy more but he didn't and there was no point pretending that he did. She was part of Dick Smith's life and it was probably for the best that she stayed away from Logan Echolls.

Dick Casablancas, on the other hand was ecstatic at his return and threw around seven parties in his honor. And as expected, Logan got shit faced every single time, prompting him to make that dreaded call.

"Ronnie!" He drawled into the phone, his voice caressing her name. "Guess what? I'm all yours again."

He remembered none of it the next morning but Dick definitely did, and Dick was not about to let the 09er kryptonite get near his only friend yet again. So he set Logan up with this therapist that he once banged, and despite all signs pointing towards yet another tragedy, things seemed to be looking up.

Dr. Hills encouraged him to talk over his feelings and write in his "dear veronica" diary. Logan had initially laughed at the suggestion; almost affronted by the fact that this head-shrinking quack seemed to think this was a viable option, but what the hell. He would do anything to get rid of her.

Year Nine

This was _his_ year. He could feel it in his bones. He never looked better, he never felt better. The dark cloud that was Veronica Mars had finally begun to dissipate. He liked diary Veronica because she wasn't judgmental. She wasn't rude. She was equally witty seeing as he constructed her replies in his head. She was perfectly perfect. Just what he needed.

He had taken to playing the dating game again. He briefly toyed with the idea of calling Stacy again, but brushed aside the idea almost as soon as he stumbled upon it. He had even considered going to the ten year high school reunion because, well because there were bound to be chicks who wanted a piece of him, and maybe a little because Veronica might possibly be around.

He wanted to show her that he was different. He had changed, and she had missed her chance. IT was supposed to be his opportunity to throw his success in her face. This time, it would be HER calling him to take her back.

Of course he had underestimated the Echolls curse once again as he found himself accused of murder. Great. And this time it actually seemed like they had something on him. Annoyed, and beyond humiliated he made the one call that he vowed he wasn't going to make. Voicemail again; what was new?

"Veronica," he said, drawing out her name. "I need your help." He left a halfhearted message knowing full well that nothing was going to change. He had begged, pleaded, cried, bargained, and screamed through that phone. She had never once called back, and she surely wasn't going to reply to his one line message.

Except no sooner than he had thrown his phone across the bed, the screen lit up once more. His eyes roved upon a picture he had lovingly snapped while she had stuffed her face with Chinese take out, the words, "Veronica Mars," blinking in bright green. His stomach dropped, his throat closed and his hands shook as he rushed to pick up.

"Hey," he managed to squeak while trying to still his heart.

Of course she would call when he needed help.


	2. Chapter 2- Her

_Veronica- for if there had to be angst, it's ridiculous for it be one-sided_

Year One

She didn't think she was stubborn; she was…what was the word? Decisive. Too many people changed their minds far too frequently. She wasn't like that. She was decisive- she made a decision and stuck with it, even if the naïve fifteen-year-old Veronica sat in the back corner of her mind tsk-tsking at her current self.

It had been easy enough to pack her bags and drive out to Palo Alto. After all, no one in their right mind turned down a full ride to Stanford. So maybe most people would have bid their goodbyes to loved ones but not her. Save for Papa Mars who was beyond thrilled that she was getting away from Neptune drama (and Logan), she told no one.

Logan, Logan, Logan. There wasn't much she could say to defend her behavior towards him. It had taken all of five minutes after the infamous cafeteria beat down for her to realize that she would always be drawn to him. Like a moth to a flame. They would kiss, make-up, fuck, fight, and the cycle would repeat itself all over again. She wanted out.

And out she got.

It didn't take a genius to spot Vinnie skulking around campus taking those god-awful photos that he called surveillance. The money shot regardless of its vulgarity was meant to be artistic. So she had snapped her fingers and helped pose with a couple possible boyfriend wannabes to help Logan get his money's worth.

Year Two

It was borderline ridiculous that she could tell exactly what he was feeling based on the tone of his voice and what he called her. He had started out with endearments- bobcat, babe, baby, and segued into caresses of her name- 'ronica, Veronica, before entering into the Ronnie territory. She was always Ronnie when he hated her- when he wanted to shake the living daylights out of her, or possibly have her cut into teeny tiny pieces, after of course having _his _way with her.

She probably wouldn't admit to it even if you put a gun to her head, but she had heard every single message he left. She played back her favorites- ones where he reminisced of fond memories going so far as to record the one time he masturbates (loudly) into her voicemail. She had always been a sucker for that sexy voice.

She didn't dare admit that she missed him, because if she did, she knew she would go back. She couldn't afford to do that. Not when she was finally settling into some normal life that every other twenty something girl in the country seemed to have no trouble living.

And she didn't dare call back. That's how these things always started- one call on a lonely dark night and they would be back to flinging insults at each other. Mostly naked.

Year Three

The calls had reduced in frequency and despite all logic, she was a little crushed. He had waxed poetic about their love, but clearly couldn't bring himself to pursue her for more than a couple years? Still, it warmed her heart when he left little one liners. Happy Birthday. Happy Thanksgiving. Merry Christmas.

She wouldn't admit it but she really would have preferred to hear "I love you;" she might have even settled for a "I miss you."

Well that never happened.

But that was ok, because this was exactly what she wanted.

Year Four

She had almost lost all contact with him. Her dad, Wallace, and Mac had all with some degree trepidation for various reasons that were unknown to her, let her gently know that Logan had withdrawn from Hearst. His occasional voicemails had stopped completely and Veronica had been this close to flying out to Neptune and tracking him down when she remembered Vinnie.

It took all of three minutes to learn that Logan Echolls was now Dick Smith. The alias brought a smile to her lips. Of course he would choose Dick- the jokes were aplenty and the sexual innuendos endless. She half expected to him to run around town gallivanting in those tight shirts of his, picking up as many blondes as he could when Vinnie casually sent her a picture of Logan and his lady friend.

Her heart constricted and bile rose up the column of her throat. He looked almost happy. Boyish, charming, and… in love. None of which he had been with her. She jealously wondered if they did normal couple things like spending the day in sweats and binge watching Netflix. Why hadn't they done it before? Did Netflix even exist back then?

Suddenly she wasn't quite sure this was what she signed up for.

Year Five

The fifth year was the hardest not because she missed him beyond belief; oh that she definitely did, but because it was too late to admit that she had been wrong. Maybe if she had owned up to her mistake by year two, or maybe even called him back, Logan would still be there. But she hadn't, and. …well she had certainly made her bed, hadn't she?

Like any sore loser she blamed Logan for their situation. All he had to do was make that one visit- in person and she would have gladly jumped into his arms, uncaring of her pride.

But it was too late and Logan for all his romantic gestures hadn't ever shown up.

It didn't take long for her to find a date because come on, she was young, attractive, blonde, and hid her oddities reasonably well. She got through her fifth date (set up through well meaning friends, and fifth cause there was something inherently wrong with the other four- big teeth, big head, crooked fingers, asymmetrical ears) thinking maybe this was it – tall, dark, handsome, when he thought it was a good idea to let her know that he didn't eat carbs.

When had it become so hard to find someone normal?

The rest of the year was spent being miserable and alone even if she had become somewhat of a success in her chosen career. A sad dating life left a lot of room and time for schoolwork and other scholarly pursuits.

When she finally received his call it took almost everything she had to not break down. There he was calling her, practically crying into the phone when she heard the other woman shush him.

She almost called him that night and probably would have if she hadn't heard _her _voice.

Year Six.

Somewhere along the years she wondered if she and Logan had switched souls. He seemed to be doing oddly well. There weren't even polite phone calls geared towards to the holidays, there weren't random hang-ups, there was nothing but deafening silence. She waited by her phone because, well she wasn't quite sure why. It wasn't like she deserved a second chance, redemption of any sort.

At her friends' urging, she managed to go on a couple of dates before meeting a decidedly rugged and delicious looking resident at NYU. He has long eyelashes, a very cute dimple and she thinks maybe it's her turn to finally move on.

She lets him walk her to her apartment going so far as to invite him. They're in the middle of living room, her hands thrust into his pants when she hears her phone. Despite her best intentions, she extricates herself from the first honest Ireallywanttthis sexual experience in years when she hears her phone ring. Logan. Her heart skips a beat, and she's this close to being delirious when she actually hears his message.

'Hey Ronnie! I just wanted to let you know that I'm all right. I met this girl, and I'm uh… I'm about to propose, so if you …I don't know. I guess if you ever wanted to reach out to me, now would be a good time."

She spent the night throwing up.

Year Seven:

A year can make a tremendous difference because she can feel herself being a better person. She's dating a very normal, very sexy financial planner, Derek who just happened to be a wizard in bed. Most days she can fool herself into thinking that this is exactly what was meant to be even if their relationship seems to be missing something.

Nevertheless Logan had moved on and in an attempt to do the same she invites Derek to her father's house for thanksgiving. The men get along so well that she wonders if this was perhaps the kiss of death. Fortunately she doesn't have much time to dwell for Keith falls back to the kitchen tile, clutching his heart.

She almost called Logan right then- he is the person she needs when she can't fathom the potential loss of her father. But they find out that Keith Mars had gone a little overboard on celebrations and was merely suffering through the garden-variety heartburn. They kept him overnight, and she listened to all 382 messages from Logan, her heart thrumming as she bundled away the precious thought that he still cared enough to fly across the country for her.

But it wouldn't have been fair. Not to Logan. And definitely not to his fiancée. Not when he at least had his shot at being normal.

So before she could change her mind she made that call to Vinnie so he could contact Logan. And as soon as she hung up she knew- Derek and her were going nowhere.

No one wanted to be with that girl who listened to all 22 of their ex's messages.

Year Eight:

She had almost pushed Logan Echolls out of her mind when a friend sends her a link to "Reviews from Mars." It consists of ridiculously honest reviews of artsy fartsy movies that Hollywood spent its time kissing butt to but were plain horrific. And despite the name that was printed on the tag line, she would recognize that voice anywhere, even if it were only on paper. And strangely the fact that he would include "Mars" as part of anything he did caused her stomach to bottom out.

Guess she wasn't as over him as she thought.

So perhaps that was why when she ran into Piz a few weeks later she is receptive to his advances. He suggests a friendly date of sorts so they can get to know each other while barely concealing his pleasure at the lack of Logan and she almost wants to punch him in the face.

Still Logan had his Stacy, so maybe she needed a Piz. She accepts his offer convinced that this was finally a step in the right direction.

It turns out that she is incapable of making any good decisions for barely three weeks later; Logan leaves her a simple message telling her that he was still hers. Not that she had ever doubted it- they just never could get the timing right. Her hand hovers over the screen to push the call back button when she remembers the last time he had made a drunken declaration.

He probably didn't even remember calling her.

Year Nine:

A better person might have admitted their wrongs, might have extended an olive branch, hell a better person might have just called back. But she wasn't known to be the better person. While she had started dating on spite, her life was beginning to gel into something that most people would be grateful for.

It definitely helped that her classmates, and few other acquaintances oohed and aahed at her seemingly perfect life but sometimes when she found herself dazed to the point where she missed her stop on the subway, she couldn't help but wonder if this was what she wanted.

And as always doubts and insecurities were banished to the farthest point in her head. She didn't like to dwell.

It had been another day spent in cubicles, dazes and subways when her eyes landed on a television screen across a display window. She could barely hear the announcer when she saw Logan being escorted into a squad car, cuffs and all. Her first thought was that he looked good. Ridiculously good, and second…she didn't have a chance to think further for her phone vibrated, a smiling mug of Logan plastered across the android screen.

Shocked, she froze narrowly missing his call as it went into voicemail. She called right back knowing he would leave a message but what he said didn't matter. It didn't matter whether he called her Veronica, 'ronica, Ronnie, bobcat, snookums, sugarpuss, or anything else he could think of because he needed her.

And she was going to be there for him.

A/n: Thank you for all the kind words. It's been forever since I've written anything and I could practically feel the rust on my fingers as I typed. In a way I'm glad that we don't have to live through nine years of sadness and can get to the goodness right off the bat. Any and all mistakes are my own.


End file.
